Where's Joy?

Where’s Joy? Sounds like either a low-budget indie film or something you’d find on the Hallmark network. But, in fact, I actually did a film nearly twenty years ago with a very similar title. It spent one weekend in theaters and then went straight to DVD. Not a terrible film but… oh well.

In this case, though, what I’m talking about isn’t a movie at all—though it often feels like one. I’d go so far as to say that anyone with even a glimmer of externally focused attention (this excludes all of you narcissists… sorry) would agree that we’re now living inside some strange, surrealist, indie-film-esque reality.

I’ve heard people say it. Most people say it. I’ve seen YouTube videos of people saying it. I’ve heard myself say it. There just really isn’t much joy anymore. Life has lost its luster. Have we all become anhedonic?

The last time I remember joy—normal joy—was pre-Covid. Life still felt almost typical in 2019. There were certainly cracks in the matrix forming, but people still had a sense of regular, everyday joy. People still went out. Still gathered with friends. Still laughed. Still went to dinner, to bars, to events.

People still found pleasure in things.

Can you even imagine that now?

I’m in my sixth decade, and until the last few years, I was full of life. I traveled. I created. I gorged myself on everything life had to offer. For most of my life, I described myself as a collector of unusual experiences. I traveled the world because I wanted to be a gourmand of existence—of sights and sounds and textures and tastes. Of the kaleidoscopic emotions that make up the human experience.

And now…

I am less than a shell of my former self. Not because of failing health. Not because of melancholy. Not even nihilism. For some reason, the joy is just gone.

Gone, I tell you.

And it’s not only me. My friends say the same thing. I read articles and blogs. I watch videos of people saying the same. I repost many of these quiet confessions because they feel uncomfortably familiar.

So what happened?
Where did the joy go?

To be fair, I still find joy in creating. My work is creative, and I enjoy that. When I do see friends, I find joy there too. But I rarely find the motivation to even leave the house these days.

So I’ll ask it again.

What happened?

There are plenty of explanations to choose from, I suppose. Politics. Economics. The pandemic. Take your pick. But personally, I think there’s just something in the air.

I think people know—deep down know—that we’re at the end of some sort of road. That the good times are over for good. That we’re simply enduring now, waiting to see what comes next.

I wonder… is this what Americans felt during the Depression? Is this what Europeans felt in the late ’30s and early ’40s? Is this what people felt during the Dark Ages—any of the dark ages throughout history?

Is this new to humanity, or just new to us?
Is this the big one… or just a big one?

Are the good times really over for good, or will we move through this era as humans always have? And how long will it take?

The questions are endless.
The uncertainty is endless.
The unease is profoundly endless.

We don’t know. And that’s the problem.

If we knew what was happening—what to expect, how long it would last—it would be easier. It’s the not knowing that’s the hardest.

So, as for me, I’ll take my joys where I can find them. The joy of family. Of friends. Of creating.

I’ll take my joys wherever I can get them.

And as for the rest…

one day at a time, sweet Jesus.

Cheers, friends. Let’s keep discovering together.

Join us in making the world a better place. You’ll be glad that you did.